Everyday Ramblings

Okay so my friend didn't die he just... told me we couldn't be friends andymore. Now it hurt. It hurt immensley and not because of that. It hurt because he thought I was lying to his face. He thought I wasn't telling the truth when in fact I have never lied to him before... Ever. And that's what hurt me that's what hurt me a lot.

I lost a friend today. I lost a brother today. I lost the one person I can be myself around today. I lost my happiness today. I lost a really good friend.

So I just had the BEST most wonderful weekend EVER!! It started on friday at two in the morning.... Yes two in the morning, why you may ask... Well I will tell you. Friday So Amber was turning 18 and Heidi, Cassidy, Katie, Meghan, Lynsey, and me decided to make her a cake. Then, out of the blue Cassidy decided to get everyone and surprise Amber (while she was sleeping) at 2 in the morning..... She didn't suspect a thing! Here was her reaction: Us: Walked into room holding balloons. Amber: Sleeping soundly all curled up and looking very peaceful. Us: Snickers and trying not to laugh to hard. Amber: Still fast asleep. Us: What do we do now? Amber: Still fast asleep. Us: Heidi turn on the light! Amber: Still fast asleep. Heidi: Turns on light. Amber: BOLTS up in her bed looking very confused. Us: Throwing balloons and screaming HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Amber: "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" Takes breath, "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Us: Is she okay? Amber: Takes out headpho...

          Okay so I'm sorry for writing so much in a few days but I've had some MAJOR realizations about life in general and I feel I at least have to share them with people in some way, and this happened to be the best way. I had no idea college would be so difficult and emotional. Don't get me wrong it is such an amazing experience and the schooling is so much easier than highschool but that's just the schooling. The people are harder. I mean I love college I love how nice everybody is and how friendly, but it takes it to a whole new level when you have to live with people you don't like or don't like you. That's what makes college so hard. Yesterday I talked about judging a person and how I shouldn't care what they think because it's only one person that doesn't like you. Today I just realized that we listen to the wrong things and we talk about all the wrong things too. I don't like it when people gossip at all it makes me sad because...

              I was having one of the worst possible days I could ever have yesterday. I was beating myself up about whether I should change and if there was something wrong with me. I think everybody know's those days, those awful days where you just slowly tear yourself down until theres nothing left but a lonely shell. I was having one of those days and it was a slow progression and then finally I just couldn't handle it anymore, I locked myself in my room and sat on my bed on my computer working on a story. But what made it worse was the fact that my roommates were out in the kitchen laughing, making smoothies, and playing games but not ONE invited me to come hang out with them so I was left in the dark. It was awful because I felt SO alone and I texted and called maybe 3 or 4 people and not one answered. My lonliness was progressing and getting worse and worse, and I started wondering if there was something wrong with...